When the birthday card arrived in
the mail, I could tell that it was the kind that comes with fundraising
requests. There is nothing wrong with those cards, and this one had a lovely painting
of a hummingbird and a purple iris on it. What surprised me was that my
long-time friend would send one of those cards to me because they are rather
generic.
Inside, however, Jennifer had
written: “I think we can agree that this is an uninspiring birthday card but it
occurred to me that if I used a card on hand rather than trying to find the
perfect one in a store then I might actually get the card written and in the
mail on time!”
She was absolutely correct: It
meant more to have my birthday remembered and to see her familiar handwriting
on that generic birthday card than to have received an email or a message via
Facebook because she didn’t manage to get the perfect card.
Jennifer’s decision to use the
card she had on hand reminds me of my mother-in-law and the drawers full of
cards in her dining room buffet. I’ve always admired Mary’s commitment to
acknowledging every occasion, whether it’s a birthday or anniversary, surgery
or bereavement, and she told me she wants people to know she cares.
“My philosophy in life is ‘Do
unto others as you would have them do unto you,” she said. “I send cards to
people to let them know I’m thinking about them hoping they will soon be
feeling better or that I am happy for them or that I feel badly for them because
they have lost a loved one.”
Given the price of some of the
cards, and the cost of stamps, it’s understandable that most of us choose to
email, text or message someone, but we lose a tangible connection when we don’t
have an envelope to open and a card to hold in our hands.
Jodi Delong, a writer,
photographer, editor and gardener who lives in Wolfville, also refuses to give
up the experience of sending cards, and uses her commitment and stockpile to
support local artists.
“I keep a
stash of handmade cards on hand for popping in the mail in times of illness or
loss,” Jodi explained, “because a handmade card may not cure the sorrow, but
it’s apt to bring a little bit more comfort than a seven-dollar, mass-produced
card from the local department store.”
Commenting
on an Instagram photo of pretty notepaper, Amanda Cashin, a photographer who
lives in East Lawrencetown, expressed the wish that card and letter writing
wasn’t considered old-fashioned.
“We need
more of these mindful, reflective practices in the world right now,” she wrote.
“I love to sit and choose the right card for the right person, and I really
enjoy the process of practicing gratitude.”
Amanda said
she even sends a thank you card to her hairdresser after a good hair cut. My
mother-in-law will be so delighted with that, she’ll likely send Amanda a card
telling her how much she enjoyed reading about her in this column.
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