Monday, December 31, 2018
2018: The Year that Kicked Butt
This is my latest article in the current issue (Dec/Jan) issue of Saltscapes magazine.
I almost didn't write this article.
I almost said No.
Even though I'd pitched it, it was assigned during a very busy time last fall with a six week deadline. And I was going to reply that I was too busy to do it until later.
Fortunately, I didn't let FEAR (specifically, feeling overwhelmed) dictate my behaviour, and instead I typed, "Sure, no problem."
Turning down a writing assignment of this size would be stupid, and this piece ended up being a delight to research and write, and I love how it turned out on the page.
That's what 2018 ended up teaching me: that I am far more capable than I give myself credit for. It was a year which started with me writing a novel AND several articles while providing church services every week -- and it didn't really let up. In May, I travelled by myself to Ontario and met up with someone who knows my father better than any of us; it took me months to process everything I learned. By September, I'd decided to add substitute teaching to my agenda, and at the elementary level, which was a whole new learning experience.
There was never any question of saying No, even when I thought I should. It was never about saying Yes, either. It was simply, Do what needs to be done.
There was never any question of being paralyzed by fear or doubt, either. It was simply, Get on with it.
2018 was the year that worked my butt off, and I'm a stronger woman for it. 2018 was the year I learned to get it all done, regardless of what confronted me and how scared I was -- whether it calling 9-1-1 because my husband was having a stroke or facing a Grade Two class for the first time ever. While many people believe my husband's stroke was the BIG EVENT of 2018, it didn't change my life as much as it changed his. I just kept moving forward, doing what needed to be done. If anything changed me life this year, it would be proving my theory that I should have been an elementary school teacher.
My friend Cynthia posted a beautiful photo on Instagram earlier today, with the following quote from Deepak Chopra:
"There is only a single instant of time that keeps renewing itself over and over with infinite variety."
I'm mulling this over but I think this is what life is all about -- that single moment you keep getting to relive, if only we can understand what it is the moment is teaching us each time.
Life isn't about Yes, or No. Life is about moving forward every day -- no matter how hard you cried the night before or how much you regret decisions you made twenty year ago.